Superbly sexist gift ideas

Superbly sexist gift ideas

WE's 2015 Advent Calendar

For that superbly sexist seasonal gift idea. Tired of seeing gifts like these?

Join the Women's Equality Party this year and make the difference.

 


 

25. Christmas message

It's time for an alternative! Instead of all this sexist claptrap, Sandi Toksvig recommends an alternative - equality! Join our party for 2016. With our very best wishes for a happy holidays from the Women's Equality Party.

24. Pink gun

Hey there sharp shooter! Does your little lady like to play rough and tumble? Encourage her inner Katniss with this fun weapon that's not too unfeminine. Comes with pink-tipped bullets that soften the blow of being shot by a girl.

23. Grand theft auto

Gather round the games console, little children. Inject some excitement - and lots of almost-naked women! - into your Christmas with some classic computer gaming. Just make sure you turn the sound down if grandma's in the room. Fun for all the family.

22. Man mug

Do you need something manly to put your skinny chai latté in? Make sure you max out your masculinity during tea breaks. This solid drinks holder comes in rugged white and features a side measuring system and communication tool in the handle. Just don't call it a cup.

21. Easy bake oven

Sugar and spice and all things nice. That's what little girls are made of. Encourage them to stay that way by buying them a tiny oven, ideal for baking their future husband's dinner in. Practice makes perfect!

20. Woman driver

Show you care with this useful warning sign. In handy vivid yellow to alert sensible road users, it should help keep your wife/partner/daughter/sister out of mischief while she's behind the wheel. Don't let your woman lose on the road without one!

19. Men's cooking

Don't look a ninny in your pinny! Cook like a man with this illustrated guide to butch baking, boiling and braising. It's cleverly disguised as a DIY book so no one will think you're a woman or anything. A woman, in the kitchen - imagine!

18. Pencil sharpener

Desperate to make a big impression on your boss in 2016? Wow her with your wit and taste by bringing this beautifully crafted pencil sharpener into the office. Sexualising stationery has never been more fun(ny)!

17. Lego Friends

Remember when Lego's little bricks were primary colours? Not any more! Your bricks are pink, and you can build a shopping mall, because you're a girl. Let the boys get on with building all those boring rockets and pirate ships and superheroes. Constructing for consumption is where it's at.

16. A good read

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Martians are strong and capable. Venetians are a bit needy and weak. And they travel by gondola, singing about Cornettos. Discover these and other truths about gender by spending Christmas with your nose in a good book.

15. Manly rings

Want to surprise your man with something special this Christmas? Put a ring on it with this exceptional range of men’s jewellery, specially designed not to threaten his masculinity (provided you also buy a naked female torso for him to rest his hands on).

14. Pink tools

Can you fix it? Yes, you can, as long as you don't look too unfeminine. Fixing stuff used to be for men but, hey, it's 2015! Women can do it too, so long as they don't threaten men's masculinity. Eliminate that risk with this helpful range of pink tools.

13. Bum guitar

Spank the plank - literally! Something for every budding rock cliche, this stylish musical instrument shows the link between women's bottoms and guitars: you can spank both. Genius.

12. Too pretty

Too pretty to do maths? Too stunning for science? Too exquisite for engineering? Treat your daughters to some self-motivation with this anti-algebra phone sock. In pink.

11. Yorkie bar

The female sex and chocolate: never the twain shall meet. Whatever you do, don't buy this chunky block of delicious milk chocolate for a woman. Definitely not for girls.

10. Thighmaster

Be thoughtful with your giving this Christmas. Remind that special little lady in your life that you want her to stay little, in all the right places. A gift that will keep on giving.

9. Robin Thicke

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without music to get you in the mood. What’s better for some festive frolicking than top tunes that blur consent boundaries?! See also the ad campaigns at Bloomingdales and Supergurl.

8. Tampons

Feel like really indulging yourself this Christmas? Every girl loves to be treated to a bit of luxury, like this extravagant sanitary ware. Why not go mad and buy the applicator version – it’s Christmas after all!

7. Sexy Olaf

Were you moved by the innocent story of friendship and female empowerment in Disney’s Frozen? Then best to avoid this inexplicably hypersexualised version of Olaf (yes, he was the snowman).

6. Man can

Wine. Bit girly, isn’t it? What it needs is a new receptacle and a rebrand. Mancan wine is for real men who drink wine. Not like that girly Plato. Or Hemingway. Or the French.

5. Bat Girl

‘I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman.’ Oh no, sorry, hang on… I’m a girl pretending to be Batman. ‘I am pink. I am sparkly. I am remarkably unthreatening.’

4. Be a sport

Men love football, but it’s a bit complicated – and rough! – for the ladies. Make him laugh – as well as nod wisely – with this hilarious fashion garment.

3. Girls Stuff doll

Want an aspirational toy for a pretty little lady? Show her how to dress like a princess, do her hair beautifully AND clean the house immaculately with this all-in-one Christmas gift.

2. Man tin

Do you worry that storing things neatly might make you appear less of a man? This very tough metal tin will reassert your masculinity, and let others know your only storage needs are for manly, heavy things like screws and leads.

1: Bic for Her

Embarrassed by pulling out a yucky man pen at the beauty salon? This comfortable and easy to use alternative will make you feel feminine and pretty. Looks especially cute if you nibble the end as you perch on your boss's desk.