It's time for an alternative! Instead of all this sexist claptrap, Sandi Toksvig recommends an alternative - equality! Join our party for 2016. With our very best wishes for a happy holidays from the Women's Equality Party.

Gather round the games console, little children. Inject some excitement - and lots of almost-naked women! - into your Christmas with some classic computer gaming. Just make sure you turn the sound down if grandma's in the room. Fun for all the family.

Do you need something manly to put your skinny chai latté in? Make sure you max out your masculinity during tea breaks. This solid drinks holder comes in rugged white and features a side measuring system and communication tool in the handle. Just don't call it a cup.

The female sex and chocolate: never the twain shall meet. Whatever you do, don't buy this chunky block of delicious milk chocolate for a woman. Definitely not for girls.

Do you worry that storing things neatly might make you appear less of a man? This very tough metal tin will reassert your masculinity, and let others know your only storage needs are for manly, heavy things like screws and leads.

Embarrassed by pulling out a yucky man pen at the beauty salon? This comfortable and easy to use alternative will make you feel feminine and pretty. Looks especially cute if you nibble the end as you perch on your boss's desk.